Weigh In

197 lbs.

Thursday Weigh-In

198lbs.

It's the Final Countdown

How can I not use an eighties hair band to title an otherwise glum post. First I will share the good news. I weight 181 pounds and I have lost a total of 13 pounds. Do not ask me how I did it. Apparently I am doing something right. Hopefully I will find myself below 180 but I am not being too optimistic. Warren is falling asleep without being rocked or nursed to sleep. This has been a big struggle and I am so proud of my little man. Plus, he is doing better sleeping through the night. In fact, he slept until 6:30 this morning. Shocking, I know.

Now it is time for me to be glum. Niels leaves for Asia on Sunday and will be gone for 20 weeks. Fortunately, Warren and I will fly out with my parents in May but still, 15 weeks is a long time for him to be away. It is an incredible opportunity for him. As a professor, it is an honor to be granted a sabbatical. On top of that, he was awarded a Fulbright fellowship to do research with a renowned professor in his field. Although it is an amazing experience for him, I can't help be sad. I don't feel sad for me, although I know I will miss him tremendously, but I will be sad for Warren and Niels. They have such an incredible relationship and I know it will be much harder for Niels than he realizes. Likewise, Warren love his Dada so much. They have their games, routines, and rituals that they both love. It hurts my heart to wonder how much Niels' absence will confuse and sadden my little boy.

That being said, my job is to lift up our spirits. Thanks to modern technology, we will use Skype to visit each night (well, morning for him). We can celebrate Warren's first birthday next month and when he reaches certain milestones in Niels' absence, I can share them with relative ease. I have projects that I want to complete and weight to lose and organization to accomplish. Warren is going to be a handful, I'm sure, as he enters toddlerhood. I'm sure when he begins to toddle, walk, and then run, my weight loss will increase exponentially!

The next few weeks, I might be sad and glum but I know I am going to make it and be just ok.

Jake on Board

I got pretty frustrated at the middle of last week because I hadn't lost any weight and it had been nearly three weeks. I know it's a slow process but I thought I'd be at least two solid pounds down at this point. It's true I haven't made that many changes. I eat well by nature. I like healthy food. The only dietary changes I made were that I stopped putting sugar in my tea, I halved the amount of fruit (sugar) I was eating, and I cut out the single slice of whole wheat flax seed toast I was having with breakfast.

I got Jake on board. He listened to me talk about this stuff for about two hours this weekend. He sat with me as I calculated the Weight Watchers points value for just about everything in the kitchen. Actually, do you know what he was doing while I was toying with the WW points scale? He was reading...yes reading...not merely browsing...my Wedding magazing my sister got me! He was seriously looking at the dresses and reading the articles. He asked me what size I am at one point and then mentioned that there's a selection of dresses my size at X's line. Ha, it was so amusing.

So anyway, I've asked him to whoop me into action. He's going to get me up at 5am with him every morning. He's not going to let me talk him out of it. So I'll get up and go to the gym. And he's not going to let me ingest a thing (other than herbal tea) after 8pm Sundays through Thursdays. I'm going to write down everything I eat, everything, and go over it with him at the end of each day. He'll do something active with me on the weekends. In May he'll join the gym with me and work me out in the mornings. He's great at pushing himself; if he can figure out how to push me, he'll be a great trainer. Beginning in May he gets to work from home three days a week so we'll be able to coordinate our schedules better then. For now, he commutes five days a week to a town an hour and a half away...hence the waking up at 5am daily. It'll be interesting to meet the firm Jake. Generally, he's so accommodating and agreeable. But I think this will be good. Fitness is one of his strengths. Shouldn't that rub off on me if I'm living with him? On the one hand I believe that, while I can gain support from othes, I can't depend on anyone else to make this happen. But, if I am going to have someone motivating me, shouldn't that be my life partner?

Last week I started going to the gym; it felt great. I only did three days, and all very light workouts. This week I'm prepared to pick it up a bit. This morning I jog/walked a 5k. (Veronica, I know we both hate running, but maybe we could find a 5k in your neck of the woods to do together this spring before you leave, just as a goal. We could take turns pushing the jog stroller.) Tomorrow I'll do a one hour cycling class. The one time in my life I ever did a cycling class I quit 15 minutes into it, I thought I was going to die. Wednesday mornings I tutor so no gym. Thursday I have boot camp; we'll do bodyweight exercises. Friday I have my fitness test and then I'll do light cardio. It should be interesting to see how I do on the fitness test (a series of tests and measurements) compared to last year's test around this time. Again, I'm not going to get overexcited for my weigh in this week (Thursday) because of the gym/muscle building and...um...bloating this week. But by next week I really expect to see some new numbers on the scale.

Ok, two last things:
1. Didn't I mention that I had a free 6 month subscription to Weight Watchers Magazine and 4 month membership to meetings?? Well I can't find anywhere on the form where it mentions a 4 month membership. That's so bizarre because I really don't think that's the sort of thing I would have made up. And if I was going to misread it and make up a membership compenent, you'd think I would say that is 6 months, like the magazine subscription and not 4 months! I can't figure it out.

2. I tried on the wedding three piece outfit again and I thought it looked really nice. Ok ok I was wearing the undergarmet this time, but it totally wasn't uncomfortable and it looked realllly pretty! And I mean seriously, if I can lose 10lbs (just 10lbs!!) by mid October it would look amazing! I still need to get the jacket resized. It fits my back perfectly and my shoulders but it just will not button around my bust.
http://www.nataya.com/item.php?id=2334

Have a great Monday!

...if you don't see me here again, you'll know I died fat at spin claas!

This is the way to start my day!

The alarm went off at 4:57 this morning, and by 5:25 I was sitting in my toasty car with a cup of hot tea in hand outside the locked gym. Mo was there early too so she got in my car with her travel mug, exuding coffee aromas, and we chatted until the lights went on inside.

The girl at the front desk said that Debbie, our Boot Camp trainer, doesn't arrive until 6:00 today. Hmm. Either she hadn't gotten the message that we confirmed our 5:30 Thursdays training session or she thought we started at 6:00. I figured it was more likely the former since when I talked to her last week she made it very clear that her only available time slot would be 5:30-6:30am on Thursdays. Regardless, Mo and I headed over to the machines on our own. We sweat side-by-side for 35 minutes before going back to the front desk to investigate. Yep, Debbie didn't get the message, but it all worked out for the better because a) I got a light work out in (which is good for my first week back in 5 weeks); b) I still have 4 weeks of personal training ahead of me; and c) Debbie will now be available to meet at 6:00 which is sooooo much better as it will allow for propper PRIVATE poo time at home! This morning I had to do it at the gym...with Mo standing on the other side of the stall...talking to me. She's a yapper and highly entertaining. It's a fine trait in a gym buddy. Ok ok, I know I'm reminding Veronica uncomfortably of her husband right now, so I shall disist with the poop talk (for now!).

I got home with nearly TWO hours to spare before having to go into the office. And do you know what I did with that time? Did I wash the pile of dishes in the sink? Nope. Did I retrieve the blue box from the end of the driveway? Nope. I took a quick rinse, put on my pj's, climbed back into bed and read my Book Club book for an hour with a cup of steaming hot coffee and a black cat at my side. Then I got ready for work, played with both cats, made my lunch, ate breakfast, and read a couple of articles online. I'm enjoying my life of luxury before I bring home one of those Haitian orphans. Oh yes! I am so ready to scoop one up. Jake and I are planning a trip there this summer and I'll have to do everything I can not to sign on the dotted line.

...back to my morning. This was the way to start my day. Exercise with a friend and then quiet time at home alone. I feel like it prepared me for the day ahead and whatever challenges were thrown my way, including losing a blog post I'd spent 45 minutes writing (which yes, did happen this morning!). The morning left me with almost a post meditation sense of being. I'm going back to meditation this weekend. It's so good for me.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Thursday is weigh-in day. I weighed in at 202lbs, but that was after I consumed 32oz of water...granted, post poo.

The Pants! They Don't Cut Off My Circulation!

Because Monday was a holiday and Tuesday was my Monday and I usually weigh myself on Tuesday, Wednesday is my Tuesday today, make sense? It did to me. Immediately after taking my shower, I gingerly stepped on the scale expecting a horror show. Perhaps a bucket of blood dropping on my head or an evil clown jumping from the numbers. But lo and behold, I surprised myself with unicorns and rainbows! My weight is now 186 and if y'all can calculate with me, that is a 3 pound loss for the week and a total of eight pounds since I began this weight loss extravaganza.

What am I doing right? I pack my lunch and eat what I have. I don't go out to lunch. I eat healthier breakfasts. I carry a very heavy 11 month old around. I let myself indulge but I do not go overboard. What else? Oh yeah, no more fistfuls of cookies.

Why Can't I Fast Forward My Weight Loss?

For some reason "fast forward" makes me think of betamax players and then that makes me think of Jane Fonda workouts and then I realize I am still fat. Oh well. I should be happy with my initial weight loss but yesterday I wore and dress, and can I tell you, the roles of fat on the side were not attractive. I could barely look at myself. Sigh. I suppose it motivates me not to eat badly. Tonight I am going out to dinner with some friends while Niels and Warren stay home. I looked at the menu in advance for two things: 1. the more reasonable items on the menu (trying to not spend so much money!) and 2. healthy foods. Unfortunately, it is an Italian restaurant so the menu includes a lot of pasta. Plus, I am a vegetarian so I am VERY limited in my choices. I will do the best I can and maybe I'll just have a liquid dinner and drink a bunch of wine! Kidding...sort of.

So Niels is leaving for sabbatical in two weeks and it is getting hard for me. Last night I cried myself to sleep without him hearing. During the day, I am pretty good but when I get reminders that yes, he is actually going to be over 6,000 miles away for 15 weeks, I become sad. Luckily, I have a fantastic little friend, Warren, and a lot of good friends in town who I know will be a great source of support. Next week I will have my new netbook and we will be ready to Skype every day once Niels has his internet set up. I can make it work. I know I can, but as always, it's the anticipation which is the worst. All I can do is take one breath at a time.